Jones, a wealthy financier, had on many occasion in the good old days — when trains were flourishing and coaches were the last word in technological luxury — crossed the continent by Pullman. He was well known and well served and was accustomed to every convenience, particularly when dining. Imagine his exasperation, then, when it turned out that the chef did not have tutti-frutti ice cream.
“No tutti-frutti?” he shouted. “I always have tutti-frutti.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” said the waiter, soothingly. “We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, black walnut, cherry, mocha almond —”
“I want tutti-frutti,” cried Jones, banging the table and turning red. “I have always had tutti-frutti and I won’t have anything else.”
For miles he muttered, scowled, growled, and snarled at everyone, so that every train employee on board had visions of angry reprisals. Finally, the train stopped at a station; a word to the conductor kept it there while the crew scoured the town for tutti-frutti ice cream.
A whole pint of the dessert was found and all of it was presented to Jones, with huge gobs of cherry sauce on it, together with a sliced banana and a swirl of whipped cream.
“Here is your tutti-frutti ice cream, Mr. Jones,” said the quaking waiter.
Jones looked at it with a scowl, then with a sudden swipe of his arm hurled it to the floor, shouting, “I’d rather have my grievance!”.
The following is from Isaac Asimov’s Treasury of Jokes (#31), who adds, “And how many of the world’s miseries are caused by people who won’t be consoled because they would rather have their grievances. And how many speeches on the Middle East situation of the sixties and seventies might profitably [have begun] with a story like the one above”.
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